MEN LESSON

身为男人该做的事：

-要时常问问她的事
-要懂得尊重女方
-温暖的肢体接触
-适时的嘘寒问暖
-让她的家人朋友都欣赏你
-不要忘记称赞她
-会做她爱吃的菜
-有一首专属于她的歌曲
-记得她生日并制造一些惊喜
-尽量做到胸襟开阔、宽容
-善待对方的宠物
-要有运动爱好
-让她觉得向你倾诉是安全的
-搞清楚和女性朋友的分界

Well, it's all for nothing

Haha, another day of my life, today topic will gonna be 'sad'. Well, I'm a sadist so sure the topic will always be related to sad things that happen in my life. You guy know how a sadist is produce right? Sadist is produced through the experience of having a lot sadness, sometime more than the happiness they feel. I'm the unlucky guy and today I'm gonnabe your MC and talk a little bit with you guys about me myself, a worthless loser in his life.
Reminder here, I open my talk with Haha doesn't mean I'm always happy, Haha can be a form of self pleasure word. You know me right? Of course you know, u can always see a person who rarely smile wandering around at IPGKTB like a ghost, without any odour or any attachment to the world surrounding him. Well that is me, if you cannot get a clear picture about me, go facebook and add Titania Erza, that's my fb account name.
Since when I become like this? the story started one year ago. At that time, i still remember I just enrolled into IPGKTB to train myself to be a future teacher. Actually I didn't interesting in teaching and at 1st I though of quitting after the 1st week of enrollment. But, there was something that catches my eye and changes my mind, I decided to stay on, well i think everyone know what is happening right since later a lot of things happen, a lot of issues and problem, even hidden agenda.
I will explain it briefly, the thing i mean was i fell in love with a girl and decided to stay so that i can chase her, well in the end, i'm defeated by reality as i'm fat and  unhandsome. At that time, i still deny about the reality of this world, I still believe that inner beauty is better than appearance but slowly as time flow, so does the courage to accept it flow into my soul.
Swiftly, it have come to this moment, October thirteen, on the year of 2012. it has been a year, i'm a different and better man already, i managed to forget the thorn in heart. I have searched for a new flower in my life and i manage to find one suitable but yet the flower melted immediately under my grips. Maybe my grips are too strong and crushed the flower. Well, when the flower crush, so does my heart. it have be crushed into pieces, with nothing left. i always wish for the slice of hope which i knew i will never found, how stubborn am i, how foolish am i for believing in that tiny piece of hope. i was never cut out for this kind of things, there is no flower in my book of life, the pages will always be empty.
Well, that conclude all the things i wanna express for the days, a final remark, when you know the situation is out of hand, it mean its time to let it go once and for all. I'm your todayh saddist talker, Titania.

开与伤之心

我的生活总是在快乐时遇到悲哀, 没有一次有固定的单纯快乐。好想哭但是流出的不是泪, 而是我伤得血淋淋的心血。

人们说爱一个人,会使一个人感到幸福。但是爱总是伤害我,我从没有感受到爱是甜的,只有感受到苦吧了。可能是天意吧, 我将永远无法得到我想珍惜, 渴望去关怀的东西。

看来是时候给自己一个了结了,看来是时后停止期待了因为我的心已经完全的裂了,再也弥补不回了。既然是知道了结果但是还是死都要跳进去。。就算是我蠢吧,不知天高地厚。都没资格还去期待。

透明人

平常的人，平常的生活。
又是美好的一天咯。
有什么东西值的谈呢？
我也不知道哦。
啊，我突然想变成透明。
变透明可有多好啊。
好处有以下：
一）可以变成透明人，世上无几哦，特别！！
二）可以在天气热时不用穿衣服，因为没人看得到你， 爽到！！
三）可以吓人，详细的情节我就不必多说咯，大家心知肚明的。哈哈！！
四）可以在考试时做弊，几爽下！！
五）可以溜进女生宿舍和女友见面！！
六）可以去打你讨厌的人！！
七）可以做不雅的事！！
八）可以做间谍！！
总而言之，好处多到没药救啊。好像变啊，henshin!!!!

孤独

人生真的是一天比一天难受，我觉得有一天我会变成疯人，独自在那儿自言自语。很少讲话也是罪，逗不到人家开心也是罪，什么都是罪。与众不同就要受惩罚，这世界有点太不公平了。算了啦，人都是偏心的，长得好看，会开玩笑，人家就会喜欢你，在乎你。长得不好看的，不会说笑的，人家就会忽略你，讨厌你，说你。可以不要给我曾受这一切吗，我很痛苦。 虽然我每次都对自己说不用紧，但是还是往往会在乎的。
看来最后，我还是一样的孤单，有过的一切就如没有过一切，不要也罢。

废话一团

哈哈哈哈哈，哈哈哈哈哈
废话。
我哦，不大会说废话的。
哈哈哈哈哈，
又是废话。
我很废咯，自己说什么都不懂，
废啊。
好好好，今天即将开始咯，会是好的一天还是坏的一天？
废话，天知地知我哪知。
很多东西发生咯，你觉得我能控制吗？
废话，哪里能控制。
人家讨厌我，我又能控制？
废话，哪里能。
我没idea要和人讲什么有趣的，能怎样？
废话，还能怎样，天生吗。
所以呢，可以说我是废人了。哈哈哈哈。

痛痒

好痛，我就像一只失羽的小鸟, 

明知人间世事无常，但还是难逃人间现实。

痛， 是我无法逃避的人间地狱,

痛，就是我明知但却无法面对的一切。

我晓得我自己是怎样的，我知道我没有天生迷人之福，

更没有人间口语之能，之福。

明知自己在这方面无能，但是还是自投罗网。

大家都说我要求高，但是我只是对自己的感情真心，

你可知你的一句，伤透了我的心，刺透了我的胆。

很多时候，我都在说实话，

但是，人家就以为我在胡言乱语，胡说八道。

人，十之八九都是测面不测心，我也不列外，

列外的人，您在何方？可以陪在我身边吗？

其实，我要的很简单, 两个字, 在乎。

我要的是人们的在乎，因为它会给我带来温暖。

但是人间世事永不流利, 要的越简单, 得到就越难。

六个字, 既来之,则安之。我可以说我做不到。

看来我的命就是如此, 没有好梦,只有一觉进恶梦,

痛也罢，哀也罢，死也罢。

Accel World

Accel World
Volume 1: The Return of Princess Snow Black
Chapter 1

On the top right corner of the virtual blackboard, a yellow finger icon flashed.
Haruyuki, who was daydreaming in class, involuntarily raised his head and shifted his eyes’ focus.
The dark green blackboard in view blurred to translucence for an instant, and in the next moment he could see the backs of students sitting in front of him as well as the figure of the teacher standing at the front of the classroom distinctly.
Although his classroom, classmates and teacher existed in reality, the transparent blackboard as well as the dense writing on it did not. Images of the numbers and markings that the teacher wrote in the air were formed directly in Haruyuki’s mind through the neuro-linker worn on his neck.
The aged math teacher, a little unskilled with the technology, moved his fingers over the blackboard that only he could see while giving his explanation in an indistinct, rumbling tone. In reality, his voice was not loud enough to reach Haruyuki’s ears, but the neuro-linker on his neck amplified and made it more distinct such that it resonated clearly in Haruyuki’s head.
Pulling his vision back in, the blackboard re-materialized, with only a few more math formulas scribbled on it. It seems like the mail wasn’t a compressed homework package sent by the teacher. That would mean that the person who sent it was another student from the same school, given that Haruyuki was not connected to the global network.
He had given up half a year after entering middle school any form of anticipation that it was a girl sending a good-willed message at the risk of breaking the school rules. Although Haruyuki really wanted to just directly drag the mail to the recycle bin at the bottom left corner of his field of vision, he didn’t know what would happen to him afterwards if he really did so.
Very unwillingly, he lifted his right hand into the air (this is not imaginary but a real action), and tapped the mail icon, seizing the opportunity once he saw the teacher turn away.
“Bubibabolubi!”
Such distasteful sounds, together with a torrent of colors that gushed out, immediately flooded both Haruyuki’s sight and hearing. Following which, an audio message sounded in place of text.
“Issuing Porky-kun today’s directive orders! (In the background, the laughing sounds of a few people can be heard). Bring two yakisoba breads, a cream pineapple bun, as well as three cups of strawberry yogurt to the roof within 5 minutes of the start of lunch break! Show up late, and it’s the pork bun torture! If you run away, it’s the barbecued pork bun torture! (Laughter bursts out in the background again). ”
Getting the feeling that someone’s line of sight was glued to his left cheek, Haruyuki used all of his willpower to keep his head still where it was. If he looked, he would definitely be humiliated by Araya and his underlings A and B’s mockery.
Recording such a mail together with visual and sound effects in the middle of class is of course an impossible task; they had probably done it beforehand. Those guys really have nothing better to do. On hindsight, what’s with “directive orders” anyway?! You’re just repeating the same meaning… idiots… idiots!!
Even though he was cursing and swearing continuously in his mind, Haruyuki of course did not dare to let out a single protest, or even reply. If Araya was an idiot, who, like cockroaches, would not go extinct regardless of the era and progression of society, then Haruyuki who had always been bullied by him would be a hopeless fool.
In reality, if he had just that little bit of drive, he could provide the school with the ten pieces of evidence that he had gathered so far, inclusive of this mail; letting those guys receive punishment was a piece of cake.
However, Haruyuki would always think of his predicament afterwards.
Even though neuro-linkers had become so commonplace that everyone had one and half of one’s daily activities were conducted through the virtual network, humans were still limited by physical constraints. Every single day, one would still feel hungry, still need to go to the toilet, and… would still feel the pain if hit, and all the more tragic it would be if one cried from the pain.
The ability to synchronize could affect promotion at school and one’s future – making these claims was just a strategy by giant internet companies to improve their image. In the end, a person’s value was ultimately decided by primitive parameters such as appearance and strength. Such was the conclusion drawn by 13-year-old Haruyuki, whom since 5th grade had weighed over 60kg and couldn’t run 50 meters within 10 seconds.
Not much was left of the 500¥ lunch money his mother had transferred over to him this morning through her neuro-linker, as it had been used to pay for the bread and drinks that Araya and gang wanted. Though he had accumulated around 7000¥ of savings from past allowances bit by bit, if he spent it, he would not be able to purchase the online game going on sale this month.
The metabolic rate of Haruyuki’s giant body was unusually high; consuming one less meal could result in him feeling faint from having an empty stomach, but he had to endure it only for today. Besides, being able to enter a state of complete synchronization during lunch break provided a means for him to endure the hunger.
Trying his best to contract his round body, Haruyuki’s destination was the second school block, which was lined with only specialized classrooms. Because everything from science experiments to culinary practices for home economics could be conducted through virtual courses now, this block gradually became disused, and few people were around. That was especially more so during lunch time, where not a single soul could be seen.
A male toilet down the dusty corridor was Haruyuki’s secret hideout. Moving with difficulty, he fled inside. His footsteps stopped together with the sounds of him panting. He then glanced at the glass mirror in front of the basin. The image on the other end of the pale glass was the epitome of the “small fat kid who was always bullied” on television dramas, the kind that made people feel like making fun of.
His messy hair was filled with personality with tufts all over the place, while no angular edges could be seen on the curve of his cheeks. As he turned his fleshy neck, his tie and silver colored neuro-linker were engulfed in it, which made it look as if he was being hanged.
He had thought of various means and ways to change his appearance, and there was even a period where he resorted to as reckless and radical a means as fasting. However, he ended up fainting during lunch break due to anemia, resulting in the creation of a horror story that was shared amongst numerous girls once their bento boxes were empty. From then on, Haruyuki decided to give up on his real self – at least while he was still a student. 0.1 seconds later, he shifted his vision off the mirror, and entered the cubicle in the, deepest corner of the toilet. After making sure that he had locked the door, he sat on the toilet bowl without even bothering to lift the lid. The plastic lid under his body let out creaking sounds of protest, something he was already used to hearing. Leaning his back on the back part of the toilet bowl, he relaxed his body and closed his eyes. What he chanted was a spell to liberate his soul from his heavy, tormented body. “Direct Link.” The neuro-linker, which had received Haruyuki’s voice command, raised its quantum connection level from sight and hearing to all senses. The weight of Haruyuki’s body and the painful, constricted feeling in his gut due to an empty stomach disappeared in an instant. The hardness of the toilet bowl and the tightness of his uniform also vanished. The sounds of laughter coming from students a distance away in the campus, the smell of cleaning agents that filled the toilet, as well as the plain door in front of him melted into the darkness. <<Synchronization Complete>> Even the feeling of gravity was cut off, and Haruyuki fell directly down into the darkness. But very quickly, a gentle and soft floating sensation and iridescent light rays enveloped his body. His virtual avatar used when synchronized started to be formed from the front parts of his hands and feet. Black, hoof-shaped hands and feet. Plump and elastic limbs. A bright pink body, shaped like a round ball. Although he couldn't see it for himself, a flattened nose should be protruding from the center of his face, and two big ears should be hanging at the sides. Simply put, his virtual avatar was a pink pig. Where his comical internet avatar landed with a "dong" sound was somewhere in a fairy-tale themed forest, the design of which was recommended by the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology. There were giant mushrooms growing everywhere. In the middle of the grassland, which was illuminated by an especially dazzling sun, was a spring where crystal-like water spouted out. The periphery of the grassland was surrounded by a circle of huge, hollow trees; their interior was used as a location for people to get together and interact as well as for recreational activities. These trees were cut into different stories and joined by stairs.
This virtual space is the local network of the Suginami district’s Umesato Middle School that Haruyuki attends.1
1 Translator’s note: this line is found in the translation by baka-tsuki but it is not present in the Chinese translation of the novel on xs.178.com. I added it in for good measure. The crowds interacting in the forest were basically all not human. About half were cute, bipedal animals, while winged (albeit unable to fly) demons, robots with white metallic skin and a mage in a long robe could also be seen. All of these were virtual avatars of students and teachers connected to the Umesato Middle School network. The students’ virtual avatars were mostly customized after choosing them from stock avatars that were originally provided. If one had the will, it was also possible to use the editor to create an entirely original design bit by bit. In the end, it dependent on a middle school student’s skill and aesthetics, but when Haruyuki showcased the original black rider design he had designed in April it received quite a bit of attention. ...But that was just a moment of glory. Haruyuki sighed and lowered his head to look at his current design. His black rider design was immediately seized by Araya, and he was forced to use this default design. Of course, this pink pig design was no worse in terms of uniqueness, because no one would choose such a self-humiliating design. Trying to contract his round body like he did in real life, Haruyuki ran towards a tree. Suddenly, he noticed that a large group of people were clustered near the edge of the spring in the middle of the forest. In the midst of the crowd, he saw a rare avatar that could not normally be seen. It wasn’t a default design. A pitch-black gown studded with transparent gems. She held a black parasol in her hands. Black swallowtail butterfly wings extended from her back, with linear iridescent lines running through them. Set against beautiful long hair was a clear, snow-white face. So perfect it was that it was hard to believe that it was a human creation. It was a professional level of design capability that Haruyuki could not even hope to reach. Leaning her splendorous body over a giant mushroom, she listened to the virtual avatars around her with a melancholic expression. What Haruyuki knew was that this girl was the student council vice president, but what was astonishing was that her beautiful appearance was an almost-perfect replica of her true appearance. Hence, she was proclaimed as – <<Snow Black>>. <<Kuroyukihime>>. Even that there was just this one similarity that Haruyuki and this existence were both students of Umesato Middle School, Haruyuki found it hard to believe. Just from simply looking at her, his sense of inferiority intensified continuously under criticism by his own self-consciousness. Reluctantly, he turned his head back to face the front.
Where Haruyuki was running towards with all his might was a big tree fitted with recreation and entertainment rooms. Although simply put it was a game corner, but it definitely did not have the kind of RPGs or strategy games sold in shops. All of the games were either intellectual games such and Q&A and puzzle games, or healthy sports games. Even so, many students gathered at each of the game zones, thoroughly enjoying themselves.
Each of them was in a state of complete synchronization at their desks in their own classroom or in the canteen. At this point in time, their original bodies were in a defenseless state, but playing pranks on people who were synchronized to the network was obviously an extremely rude act. As such, no once except Haruyuki would be worried about such a thing; synchronizing to the local school network in the classroom and discovering later that his trousers had been taken off was something that happened before it had even been a month since he entered school.
To stay out of people's sight, Haruyuki had hid his real body in the toilet, and now even in the virtual world, he ran up the stairway circling on the tree branches in one breath. The higher the floor, the less popular the game installed on that floor was.
He passed the baseball, basketball, golf and tennis zones one after another, and without even stopping to look at the table tennis zone, he reached the last floor, the...
<<Virtual Squash Game>> zone.
There was not a single student around, and the reason for the lack of popularity of the game was very obvious: although squash is similar to tennis, all one was doing was hitting the bouncing ball continually with a racket in a space enclosed by hard walls on all sides in solitude. No matter how you looked at it, it was a lonely sport.
Originally, the types of games that Haruyuki liked included First Person Shooter (FPS) games where one rushed into a battlefield with a sub-machine gun, and in these games he was a notch better than professionals from their source country (America). Of course, in Japan there are fairly popular games of similar types, but such games could not possibly exist on the school network. Also, when he was in elementary school, he shot and killed all of his male classmates using just a small pistol, and the next day he was bullied to a state so appalling that one could not bear the sight of it. This painful memory still remained distinct. After that incident, Haruyuki swore that he would no longer play the same games as his schoolmates, no matter the type of game.
Entering the right end of the empty game zone, he touched the operating screen using a single hand. Haruyuki entered his own student ID and read out his level and high score archived in the game.
Ever since the middle of the first school term, Haruyuki had been relying on this game to pass time during lunch break. As a result, his scores reached am unimaginably huge number. Even though he had grown tired of playing the game, he had nowhere else to go. He grabbed the racket that appeared from the top of the display using his black-hoofed pink right hand tightly.
With the words "GAME START", a ball dropped out of nowhere. Venting today's gloomy mood on the ball, he swung his racket with all his might.
*Whack* Leaving behind a trail of light for an instant, the ball flew like a laser, bouncing back after hitting the floor and wall. To catch the trajectory of the rebounding ball which seemingly cannot be followed with the eyes, he listened to his mind, which automatically guided him to the appropriate solution: move one step to left and do a backhand swing.
Haruyuki could, of course, not move so swiftly in reality. But this was a virtual world where one was liberated from all physiological restraints. Knowing the direction of the ball’s movement and moving one’s body were all but the result of quantum signalling between his brain and the neuro-linker.
In an instant, the ball lost its material form, and only a single flash of a blurry trail of its trajectory could be seen in the court. The sound “Pa-Dong, Pa-Dong” could be heard resounding continuously within a single second, like a machine gun. Nonetheless, Haruyuki was able to jump freely and endlessly within the space using the body of the small pig, venting all his rage by hitting the ball in all directions with the racket.
Bastards… Who needs reality?
Even though he was challenging the most extreme speeds in the game, he was still unfocused; the sound of shouted complaints reverberated in his head.
Why do we still need pointless things such as real classrooms and schools? People can just solely live through the virtual world, and the number of adults who did so in reality was already uncountable. In the past, there was even an experiment where a person’s consciousness was totally converted to quantum data in an attempt to construct a real, separate world.
Even so, with the stupid reasons of learning about communal living and fostering sentiments, kids were thrown together and locked within the fences of reality. This should be rather decent for Araya and his gang - not only do they have a suitable means of relieving stress, they also can save up on their allowance. However… what should I do next?
With the sound of “Ding-Dong!”, the game level on the corner of his field of vision increased by one.
The speed of the ball increased instantaneously. The angle of reflection of the ball also became irregular and it bounced back in a surprisingly unexpected way, moving in a curved line.
Haruyuki’s responses gradually became unable to keep up.
Damn it… Faster… Faster!
Be it the virtual or real world, to pierce through all barriers, to reach places where no one has ever been before… Swiftly!
*Swish*, he missed the ball. It streaked past Haruyuki’s cheeks like a ray of light, flew behind him, and disappeared. The words “GAME OVER” dropped down accompanying sound effects that sounded both comical and dejected, bouncing on the court with a “boing boing” sound.
Without even looking at the flashing high score, Haruyuki turned his head and walked towards the control panel with the intention of restarting the game.
At this moment, a sudden voice caused Haruyuki’s sacred hidden hiding spot to shake.
“Ah!! You were actually hiding in this kind of place!!”
The loud, high pitched shout made his ears, or perhaps cerebrum, go numb. Haruyuki, whose back was tense from shock, turned around to see a student with an animal-form avatar.
Even so, the avatar wasn’t in the slightest bit as comical as the pig design of Haruyuki’s avatar. A delicate and slim body figure; a cat covered with silver fur suffused with a slight hint of purple. One of her ears and the end of one of her tails were tied with dark blue ribbons in butterfly knots. Even though it was not an avatar that was created from scratch, it could be seen that modifications were made to every part of the body.
Her glistening, golden pupils exuded anger. She opened her mouth full of small, sharp canines and shouted again.
“You always aren’t around during lunch break recently, causing me to have to go through such pains to find you! It’s fine if you’re playing games, but can you please stop playing such non-mainstream games? Wouldn’t it be good if you came down and played with everyone?”
“That’s my problem, leave me alone.”
Giving only this short reply reluctantly, Haruyuki intended to return to the squash court once again. However, the silver cat turned her head and glanced at the "GAME OVER" sign by chance, after which she let out a shrill scream:
"What's this? Level 152, score of 2.63 million? You really are..."
- - super awesome!
In his heart, Haruyuki anticipated a little that he would receive of such words of praise. However, his expectations were easily crushed.
"An idiot aren't you?? What are you doing without even eating your lunch?! Disconnect right now!!"
"I don't want to, there's still 30 minutes until lunch break ends. You should be the one leaving."
"Ah... you–you're actually giving this sort of attitude! Looks like you're forcing me to take action."
"Try it if you can."
Muttering that, Haruyuki picked up his racket once again. The virtual avatars in the school network did not have <>; with the rationale of preventing inappropriate behavior, students are unable to touch other students' avatars. Of course, using tough measures to force oneself to disconnect from a network was another topic of discussion.
The cat avatar extended her long and slender tongue with a sad sigh, and following which shouted:
"Link Out!"
The figure disappeared in an instant, leaving behind a vortex of light and the sound of bells.
Finally, that noisy person is gone. He dissipated a slight tinge of loneliness by blowing out a sigh from his nose, and that was when-
*Dong!* A heavy blow came from within his mind, and all of his surroundings disappeared. Feeling as though he was being sucked in by spots of light on the other side of the darkness, the scene of reality appeared before him.
Feeling the heavy weight of his own body, Haruyuki blinked desperately to readjust the focus of his eyes.
It was the original cubicle in the male toilet. However, in place or the bluish grey door that should have been in front of him, Haruyuki saw something unexpected.
“What are you-?!”
Standing fiercely in front of him was a female student. The green bow-tie on her school uniform indicated she was also a first year student.
She had a thin and small figure, with a weight that seemed to be only 1/3 of Haruyuki’s. She had short hair, and her fringe was combed up to the right and secured in place with a pin. Resembling a little like a cat, she had a petite figure but disproportionately large eyes, which were currently filled with anger and staring at Haruyuki.
In her left hand she was holding on to a small box, while her right hand was outstretched and clenched, extending to the top of Haruyuki’s head. Seeing this, Haruyuki finally understood why he was suddenly cut off from his state of complete synchronization. The female student had hit his head directly with her fist, and the impact caused the neuro-linker to activate its safety mechanism, automatically disconnecting him.
Normally, the safety level of neuro-linkers are set such that the safety mechanism could be activated just by shaking the person’s shoulders or by shouting at them; some neurotic girls even set it such that they would disconnect once anyone came within a one meter radius. The reason why Haruyuki did not notice the intruder until he had been hit directly on his head was because he had set the safety level to the lowest since he was hidden in the toilet cubicle.
“Yo–you!!”
Haruyuki, who was shocked to the extent that he could not control himself, started to shout at this girl – the only girl he could converse with easily in this school.
“What are you doing! This is the male toilet! And the door was obviously locked, you idiot!!”
“You are the idiot.”
Haruyuki's childhood friend, who just conquered the insurmountable obstacle of entering the male toilet in just a short skirt, was Kurashima Chiyuri. She pulled her right hand back after retorting with a scowl, reached behind her and opened the door.
With a light and quick movement, she jumped out of the cubicle. The shine of her maroon hair under the light of the sun caused Haruyuki to involuntarily squint. Chiyuri finally gave a faint smile and urged:
"Hey, come out already."
"Okay, okay."
Swallowing a sigh back into his belly, Haruyuki stood up, accompanied by the creaking sound of the toilet seat cover. While walking towards the entrance with Chiyuri, he finally brought up another question:
"How did you know I was here?"
He did not receive an immediate reply. After sticking her head out of the male toilet to affirm the situation, Chiyuri quickly bolted onto the corridor, giving a brief answer:
"I was on the roof as well, so I followed along."
That would mean--
"You saw it?"
Haruyuki murmured, stopping just after he had taken the first step onto the corridor.
Looking as if she were searching for words, Chiyuri lowered her head and leaned her back against the wall. Finally, she nodded her head.
“I won’t talk about those guys again. If you’ve decided to let things be, then there’s nothing I can do. However, you still have to take your lunch. Doing this is bad for your body.”
With a smile that looked like it was a little forced, Chiyuri held up the box in her left hand.
“I... made a bento. I can’t guarantee its taste though.”
…Tragic... This was the only word that surfaced in Haruyuki’s mind.
His heart, which wanted to search for an emotion apart from pity in Chuyuri’s words, was in sorrow.
That was because Chiyuri already had a boyfriend: another childhood playmate, who was in all aspects the complete opposite of Haruyuki.
His mouth started to move on its own, and Haruyuki heard a voice that was subtly lacking in intonation coming from his own mouth.
“These are extras from what you were making for Taku, aren’t they?”
In an instant, Chiyuri’s expression was shrouded. Unable to look directly into the eyes under her knitted eyebrows, Haruyuki turned his gaze towards the corridor.
“No, they aren’t; Taku’s school provides lunch. Here there are only sandwiches, potato salad and ham with cheese. They’re your favorites, aren’t they?”
Looking at the white basket in his field of vision, Haruyuki wanted to extend his right hand to push it back obstinately.
However, his slow, real body defied his will; with a violent movement, it smacked the box from her hands and sent it falling to the floor. The lid bounced open the moment the box hit the ground, and the triangular sandwiches fell out from their aqua blue food wrapping and became deformed.
“Ah...”
Although Haruyuki reflexively wanted to apologize, his mind was so emotionally agitated that he couldn’t control himself; even if he wanted to say anything, he was unable to spit it out. Without even being able to lift his head, he moved backwards with his head lowered, and abruptly turned his body with a loud cry:
“I- I don’t want them!”
Haruyuki really wanted to immediately disconnect from this place, but his thought, filled with pain, was of course impossible to fulfill. At the very least, he wanted to desperately run away, but his real body had to be just so heavy; he was unable to escape from the faint sobbing sounds coming from behind him.
Haruyuki went through that afternoon’s lessons and class meeting under the worst atmosphere. Once class ended, he dashed out of the classroom as though he was escaping.
To go to Chiyuri’s classroom which was two classrooms away, or wait at the school gate, or to wait for her on the way home and then apologize to her? Desperately pushing those voices which were resounding continuously in his mind out of his consciousness, he ran towards another of his secret hideouts, the library.
A place like the library had actually already completed its mission in history. However, there were some adults who felt that it was essential for schools to have paper books that matched their style so as to provide students with the necessary education. Hence, new books that were gratuitously resource- and space-wasting lined the shelves.
Of course, it was thanks to these people that he had this precious personal space, so there was nothing to grumble about. Hugging 2 to 3 hardcover books as a cover, he occupied the section of the reading area that was next to the wall. He buried his body within the narrow seat, and with the softest voice the neuro-linker could recognize, gave the command to synchronize.
Because less than a few minutes had passed since the course ended, the school network was deserted. Haruyuki took this chance to speedily run across the grass patch and up the tree branches, hiding in his usual spot. The virtual squash zone naturally remained in a deserted state. In reality, he didn’t actually want to play such a simple ball-hitting game, but rather wanted to immerse himself in an intense, bloody battle where bullets rained so as to temporarily forget the depression he felt in his chest. However, the school had restrictions on connecting to the globalnet and starting the game, and he had no choice but to comply.
Although his hunger had long exceeded its tolerable threshold, he did not want to return home immediately. If he were to meet Chiyuri on the way home, he didn’t know what expression to make or what words to use. No – actually, apologizing to her would do, but he had no confidence in making his mouth comply with his thoughts.
– It was just as such at that point in time as well.
In the past, there were also times that he made Chiyuri cry; thinking of the scenes back then made him involuntarily squeeze his eyes shut. Putting his right hand on the operating display, he logged in.
He outstretched his hand to grab the racket, and turned to face the court.
Open my eyes, aim at the falling ball, and vent all my frustration with this hit–
Haruyuki instantly froze.
The monochrome, solid letters in the middle of the court displayed a figure different from what he remembered.
“Level 166!?”
It was more than 10 levels higher than the record that Haruyuki set just a few hours ago.
Exactly what happened? The student ID logs should be managed... After a moment of thinking, Haruyuki instantly understood it. At that point in time, because Chiyuri had hit him to force him to disconnect, the game was left running. Hence, someone had continued the game and broke the record. But...
Who except himself could obtain such ridiculous results?
Haruyuki tried hard to maintain his collapsing self-confidence; After all, this was a VR game under a complete synchronization environment. Of course, besides Q&A and board games where intelligence determines who wins and who loses, Haruyuki was sure that no one could beat him in action and racing games, as well as those that relied on shooting on reflex.
But of course, he had not shown off his skills before. Even if he managed to garner people’s attention, nothing good would happen; such a deep impression had been left on him since elementary school. He had always felt there was no need to further affirm his ability, but… This frightening squash game score was...
At this very moment–
A voice came from behind his back, but it wasn’t Chiyuri. Although it was also feminine, the voice was deeper and silky smooth.
“Are you the one who got that absurd score?”
The person who stood in front of him as Haruyuki turned around on tenterhooks was...
A silver-studded dark dress. A staff-, or sword-like parasol poked the ground. Pure white skin and jet black pupils–
...<<Kuroyukihime>>
Although it was only a virtual avatar, it did not seem in the least bit unreal; it faintly revealed of a kind of sorrowful beauty. The most famous person in school approached him silently.
A faint smile might or might not have appeared have appeared on her red lips, the only colored part of her whole body as she continued:
“Do you want to accelerate further, young man?” “If you are interested, come see me at the lounge tomorrow during lunch break.” With that, she immediately disconnected, just leaving behind these words. Her virtual avatar was in Haruyuki’s field of vision for less than 10 seconds. Was it a bug in the local network? For an instant Haruyuki thought he was hallucinating. What had just happened was really unbelievable, but the frightening score that remained floating on the court was indubitable. Even completely losing his will to challenge himself to set a new record, Haruyuki disconnected and just sat in the library’s reading area blankly. Within the depths of his ear, only those few sentences resounded indefinitely in loops. She speaks with a different tone compared to other middle school students, but there was no sense of disharmony blended into her overwhelming presence. Rather, it would be better to say that with a single look at her, it was indisputable why she was extremely popular amongst both guys and girls. Finally taking weak steps out of the school compound, the route home seemed to be completed with his body moving automatically. If it wasn’t for the visual and sound interface of the neuro-linker’s traffic prediction and navigator, he would perhaps have been flattened by cars twice or thrice over.
There was no one at home when Haruyuki returned to his high-rise apartment in Kouenji2
In his dreams Kuroyukihime appeared not as her virtual avatar but as her real form, the student council vice president. Even though he had apparently only seen her on the podium of the school stage with an aloof and emotionless expression, for some reason in his dreams a . Haruyuki directly heated up a frozen pizza, and filled his stomach with it along with a carbonated drink. His parents had divorced long ago, and now he lived with his mother. However, she would not be home before midnight, which meant that the only time they could see each other would be when he obtained his lunch money from her right before going to school. After filling his stomach with junk food, he confined himself in his room. If he followed his usual routine as of late, he would first surf the net, then immerse himself in European battlefields for hours on end, use a bit of free time to complete his homework, and then finally go to sleep. However, there was nothing he wanted to do today. Perhaps because too many things happened today, his brain felt heavy, as though it was swollen. Once Haruyuki changed his clothes and took off his neuro-linker, he fell heavily and laid on his bed. He was sleepy, but his sleep was definitely not peaceful. Araya and gang’s mockery, Chiyuri’s tears and Kuroyukihime’s puzzle-like words repeatedly appeared in Haruyuki’s dreams, causing him to toss and turn.

Acceleration

We all live in the space between one moment and eternity. We meet and part. Everyone lives their lives to the fullest in a world where things change with the passage of time. But I 'm sure some things won't ever change. There are things that change and can never be gotten back. But we already know. Even if things change they'll will begin anew. And as long as we have the will, humans will always move forward. For now we can accelerate.

画心-

看不穿 是你失落的魂魄
猜不透 是你瞳孔的颜色
一阵风 一场梦 爱如生命般莫测
你的心到底被什么蛊惑
你的轮廓在黑夜之中淹没
看桃花开出怎样的结果
看着你抱着我 目光似月色寂寞
就让你在别人怀里快乐
爱着你 像心跳难触摸
画着你 画不出你的骨骼
记着你的脸色 是我等你的执着
你是我一首唱不完的歌
看不穿 是你失落的魂魄
猜不透 是你瞳孔的颜色
一阵风 一场梦 爱是生命的莫测
你的心到底被什么蛊惑
你的轮廓在黑夜之中淹没
看桃花开出怎样的结果
看着你抱着我 目光比月色寂寞
就让你在别人怀里快乐
爱着你 像心跳难触摸
画着你 画不出你的骨骼
记着你的脸色 是我等你的执着
你是我一首唱不完的歌
你的轮廓在黑夜之中淹没
看桃花开出怎样的结果
看着你抱着我 目光比月色寂寞
就让你在别人怀里快乐
爱着你 像心跳难触摸
画着你 画不出你的骨骼
记着你的脸色 是我等你的执着
我的心只愿为你而割舍

I know

Another day of my life,, nothing really special,, playing with my solo friend (figma)

Hello Black Lotus is what i asked,
Dead by piercing!! I was shocked when it reply....
I was like OMG!!!!!
GHOSTTT!!!!!!!!

Actually the sound come from my laptop, I was watching the anime,, hahahahahah
piece of junk....zzzzzzzz  

Be Human

Ghost: "The bio-foam is working but the bleeding won't stop."
Girl: "You finally have reason to show that you care, don't you?"
Girl: "There is something that I always wonder, What am I to you?"
Ghost:"You're a soldier, a soldier with a promising future ahead of you."
Girl: "And your a ghost right? Feeling pass right through you, so cold and unforgiving in every choices you
         made, pure soldier. I think that's what make us all trust you, don't you think?"
Ghost: "Don't talk, save your strength."
Girl: "I don't need it!"
Girl:"I need you to be strong, strong enough to do anything in you life. Can you be strong enough to just,
        can you just be human?"

September 13, years 2045

Remnant of a Fragile LIFE

Feeling, a word that I hear and feel not too long ago.
Friendship, a word I feel more during my solitude life.
This all now belong to nobody else but remnant of memories.
Memories, what is memories? just a simple data that humans store inside the tiny neuron inside their brains.
Simply, we can describe it as a chemical substance that stored within our brain.

What is the incident that changes it all? Is it because of me or because of the changes occurring to everyone?
Lets not guess, lets face to face, eye to eye and chest to chest.
Let us settle it once an for all.
It crave my heart for not being able to feel the joy in learning everyday.
It struck my heart everyday until I started to melt slowly

My only salvation is to seek the kindness from else where,
Kindness that I long for,
Kindness that I lose at here
Forever and evermore.

But,

The more I seek, the more I fall,
The more I fall, the more I feel,
The more I feel, the more I think,
The more i think, the more I hope.
hoping for nothing...
nothing...

Aeon Ago

         The clock is ticking slowly. I stare out the window, watching other class students having their PE class. They are having a baseball match for this week. At first it feel good to watch them playing but after a while I start to get bored and move my attention back into the classroom. Today is just another normal day, Mr. Nagasaki is currently teaching history. He talks about the battle between the Mino clan and Oda clan during old time but all this things seem very difficult to me as I cannot focus myself lately. Emptiness rushes through the vein in my body and makes me look dull.

            ‘My family is going to move next week’.

The word came from Eleanor mouth shocked me and a sudden change of expression occurred on me. Realizing that, Eleanor continues to spoke softly.

‘They are going to move to Nagoya and I know it’s quite far from Tokyo here but we can still mailing each other so don’t give me that sad look please’.

I didn’t say a word at all. The news really shocked me; I don’t know what respond to give.

            MIYAMOTO!!!           

A loud voice pulls me back. It was Mr. Nagasaki starring me with his killer eye which makes me chill for a brief moment. I know something worse is coming for me as he step closer toward me but luckily the school bell ring indicating the end of his classes. He stops and move back to his desk while still giving me his killing aura. I step up and walk out the class heading toward the rooftop. Since the day Eleanor moving away, the rooftop become my best friend during recess time.

            Nothing matter more to me beside Eleanor. I still remember the first time I saw her, it was sunny that day and we meet under the cherry blossom tree. She was staring at the cherry blossom. I can see sadness on her face and suddenly, a teardrop fall from her eye. She looks like a fragile girl that makes everyone wish to protect her. Without a second though, I approach her slowly.

            Konichiwa!!

Didn’t know what to say at all, this word suddenly pop out from my mouth. She stared at me with curiosity. A short moment of silent occurs between us and then she replied.

"What will you do if you knew that you are at the verge of your life? Will you choose death or try any possible way to live on?"

I was quite shock with the way she reply me, i was stunned.

“I think i will choose to try any possible ways to live on because I have a lot of things haven't experience in this world." I replied.

She smiled and replies, “That is what normally people will said but when they was on the brink of death, they will choose death over living.”

“Why?” I asked

 A brief silent happen between us, there is no verbal interaction between us and we just staring into each other eyes. Then she smiled.

“How rude of me for not introducing myself, my name is Eleanor Eba. Nice to meet you!! Errrrhh……”

“Ahh, it’s Haruyuki Miyamoto.” I feel awkward about the way I reply her, too little formality applied for the person who I met for the first time.

“Oh… Can I call you Haru? It sounds cute that way.”

“Sure, most people call me like that.” I replied.

This is how I met Eleanor, a girl who I never thought I will fall in love with, and the conversation of that day, November 12 remain unanswered until now. 

It has been quite a long time,
too long until I forgotten the day that means a lot to me,
a memorial that is fading slowly with time....
How I wonder my life would be if I never take the initiative,
how foolish of me for believing so easily,
how stubborn of me for not giving up,
how childish of me to embed myself with illusion,
how it aches my heart until today, until this moment.
but...
no one know, no one care and no one dare...

NOVEMBER 6, 2012. 7.25PM

Nothing

Sow nothing for this world,
as you will gain nothing,
nothing.

Nothing is truly real.
it is just a man behind a mask,
it is nothing.

Nothing,
you could ever imagining,
nothing, nothing.

long I stood,
on the pavement gray,
and long I circle,
longing for a better result.
Yet,

nothing happen in the end.
It is nothing,
nothing that a man kind could ever hope for,
nothing, nothing.

Written by: King

孤独

为什么我伤心和失望时，永远都是一个人埃过，难道我就是这样的孤独？？

2 day one night trip to KERACHUT !!!

Another chapter of my life has arrive.! nice view....

First time ever camping with fellow new friends that i saw everyday but never really talked before.

it's strange that i found myself enjoyed during trip
with other classes friends rather than my class group, i wonder what make me felt like this????

ahahaha!!!!

Cheng and Kong!!!

photograph with ang mo tourist !!

beauty of nature ^.^

fellow friends!!

hahaha, see our Lee Chee mei mei big smile ^.^

evening time with beautiful sunset as the background.












End of the trip !!!

IGNORANCE

There are more than 2000 word in this world which describe feeling,
but very few word to smoother feeling,
but there are a word than can help solve a lot of this feeling,
its ignorance.!!
learn to ignore 'certain'  things that causes changes in your daily emotional feeling
and,,,,
you shall find peace in your life

两天一夜的旅行(Part 2)

It's Bon Odori time!! Bon Odori is one of the japanese culture which celebrate the return of their ancestor spirit by offering dances to them. There are so many people at padang Espalane eventhough it was just the begining of the festival..!!

At 1st i though it was young japanese girl dancing but after i come closer,, it was timid japanese old ladies dancing at the stage, praise them for their good performance which open my noble eye.

Omg !! first time see real life kendo wooden stick, mostly only see them at anime. it feel a bit heavy in my grasp but it feel nice too. the beauty of a sword is like the beauty of a flower..

It's night time during the  festival, the number of people coming keep on increasing, the festival become merrier and merrier. this was one of the best performance that i saw at there. sorry for the blur pic as i only stood at far apart catching this pic.








Around 10 o'clock, which is the end of the festival, there was this huge firework display,, it was my 1st time ever watching firework so close, it feel so nice and i deeply enjoy it. this conclude my day one trip.

两天一夜的旅游T.T (Part1)

看来又是开始的第一大脚步了。。。
在一个风合日丽的清晨，我和我的班来到了槟岛码头附近的渔区去参观第一个壁画。

槟城渔民的地区。。
远望无尽的大海，就如我的人生。。

在这儿大约半个钟后，我们又继续的往第二个壁画那儿走。
走啊走，不知不觉已经走了一小时。
终于， 我们来到了！！

在途中，我们还遇到了一只很可爱的狗狗名为daggy。

接下来就是还有几幅壁画。。

泰国 TomYam

这是不久前美丽的学姐 shilu 和艳芳带我去吃的好吃tomyam 在哪里我也不是很清楚。只知道很好吃。。哈哈

圆圆的青色世界！！

圆圆的薄荷，圆圆的薄荷，
就如圆圆的月亮，圆圆的太阳，
就如我圆圆的人生，
每天重复着一样的东西，
每天看到我爽的人群，
也看到了些很欠打的人群，
看来我以前是做宅男做太久，
与世分隔太久太久了，
渐渐的也把自己包围在圆圆的保护圈，
忘记了种种的人世间现实所带来的悲痛。
但是，，，
受伤时，只有和你相爱的人在一起，
就会感到那些伤痕是值得的，
因为有了那些伤痕，才会和你相爱。
爱人，你在何方？？

还是‘一’天

又是一个平旦的黄昏，，走啊走，，不知何时我走到了这里。

这里断不是美的所在，但是它给我带来了清凉的感觉，因为风儿太大了！！
瞧向远方，我看见了一丝丝的红点，在看清楚，原来是学姐们正在细心的栽培华草树木。
这时的我，好奇心加重，便亲自往那儿走。走啊走，，

看到了一丛的香蕉树,香蕉树让我想起了家乡的感觉。还记得我家乡有好多的香蕉树，有好多好多的香蕉吃。来到这儿就少吃到了。T.T
突然我的死党出现在树前。。我就立刻拍下美好时光。啊哈哈哈哈

何先生笑得好灿烂。。！！！！

Science Teori Games

6PISMP IPGKTB !!!

Magnetic Car Game 

Balancing Game

Soap Making Game by our 'kawaii' seniors !!!!

Spoon Challenge 'Game of the Years' i think..

Inertia Teori Game.. after around 20 shot,, i finally manage to shoot the target T.T.....

后感

有时候人生中往往逃不了和某些人有些亲密的联系，
但是不知何时，我们象陌生人般的窗擦而过。。

Sarawak Laksa Oishiii！！！！

Self made laksa, steal the ingredient from my mother business preparation. haha 

赞美

人海茫茫，一朵失根的华儿轻轻的飘过，
失根的花儿倘如失去方向的自我，
在滔滔的人海中透不过气来。

但是，这时又飘来了一朵美丽的红花儿，
红花儿给人带来了幸福与快乐，
替我夺走了种种的悲哀与黑暗。

感谢红花儿一向来的祝福，
使我感受到生活的乐趣，
毕竟。。。。
人生短短几十年，何苦和自己过不去呢？

Muv Luv Alternative: Total Eclipse

A new anime for summer season,, a sad story featuring the fall of humanity...

hope 2012 doom day premonition won't be like this anime.. kowaii !!!

Aha!! another normal day of my life.........

Today was a first for me, seeing other girls blog, randomly. For my surprise,, i found out that she share the common interest with me ( loving japan culture so damn much!! ) I was quite happy and i wish i have the courage to known her as i can share my ideal with her.( a hard trial for me T.T)..

Once again, my playboy friend go and ask for her handphone number. Again, i wish i have that kind of courage to do so..hahahaha, so damn hate about my timid self. 

Titania

i started this blog under the encouragement of my beloved friend...

it has being a while since i'm writing something at a blog,, such nostalgic.... 

as introduction,, i'm not the kind of guy which is every girls dream...

i'm just a plain and simple yet unhandsome gentlemen...

a shy and hopeless human being in search of light...

but,,

rather than finding the thing i want, the only thing happen to me is falling deeper and deeper into the pit..

what can i salvage from this littered by humanity world??